It has been about a month since I visited the nursing home and listened to an elderly lady’s love story. Some say that waiting a month to blog about the experience is an example of pure procrastination, but I say that I simply chewed it over for a while. It was an interesting experience and I have always had a fascination with old people. I think that it really comes from an interest in the cycle of life and how close old people are to the end of it. I don’t mean to be harsh; it’s just the facts of life. I have always been curious about the mentality of the elderly, and how they view life. Do they spend their time remembering as often as I spend dreaming?
That’s enough sappy talk. On to the story.
I arrived thirty minutes late, but that wasn’t a problem since my fellow classmates were still waiting when I walked in. The nursing home lobby was a nice environment with upbeat 40’s or 50’s music playing. It certainly was different than the typical nursing homes I have seen, proving to be much less dull. While waiting, a man on a walker randomly approached us and made hilariously obscene jokes (the details of which I will not include). I remember thinking that if nursing homes were full of guys like this, then getting old might not be so bad.
After about thirty more minutes of waiting, we were escorted up to the lady whom we would be meeting with, Mrs. Widaman, by a fellow named Billy. We later learned that Billy was dating Mrs. Widaman’s daughter who was not present at the time. Billy sat with us and chimed in from time to time as we talked with Mrs. Widaman, clearing up any confusing parts of her story. I was surprised at how much Billy seemed to know about Mrs. Widaman and her family and how active of a role he played in her life.
I’ll admit that it was a little challenging getting much of a love story out of the conversation. Mrs. Widaman thought that she and her husband’s story were boring and instead focused on other aspects of her life. She was by no means a shy lady and had plenty to say, but often she would wonder off topic. We patiently listened to these tangents until Billy reminded her what it was Karl and I came to hear.
The love story itself is odd by today’s standards. Perhaps it was the way she told it, or perhaps it was the way I heard it, but there was something unusual about how Mrs. Widaman met her husband. When she told the story, she gave little detail regarding their dating period. I remember asking the question, “How long did you and your husband date before getting married?” She responded with, “Oh, well we went out that night at the roller rink [referring to when they first met] and after that I just went with him.” I’m not entirely sure what she meant by “went with him” and I really couldn’t even make a guess. It seemed as though dating was an entirely different ritual in her days and had a completely different role in society.
Overall, we listened to Mrs. Widaman talk for just over an hour and a half. Karl mentioned in his blog that he thought that she was highly pleased and grateful to have someone to talk to and share her story with. I could not agree more with Karl. I believe that the elderly do in fact spend much time remembering and reflecting on their life, just like the young spend preparing and planning for theirs. I learned that it is a special time when the old talk to the young and the young listen.
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