The anxiety started early; freshman year to be exact. I was overly confident in my academic abilities and knew that I would graduate high school as either valedictorian or salutatorian of my class.  I also knew the responsibility that was tied to these titles; graduation speeches. I never was an overly shy person or deathly afraid of public speaking like many people are, but the thought of having to write and deliver a speech in front of thousands of people can rattle just about anyone’s bones.

            As high school progressed, I began thinking up various schemes to escape the dreaded task. If I could graduate early then I could avoid the ceremony and speech entirely. This would be possible, but highly difficult. Plus, I imagined my parents would make me walk the stage with the rest of my classmates anyway, so that plan was out.  Next I considered letting my grades slip just enough to fall to the title-less and speech-less spot of number three.  This could be done easily but in the end my academic competitiveness overrode my desire to avoid the speech. I knew that I would just have to “man up” and face my fears.

            I did my best to try and forget about the speech entirely throughout high school. Thoughts of it crossed my mind on occasion, but they were suppressed by thoughts of “That’s a long way in the future.”, and “Don’t worry about it now.”  By the time my senior year rolled around, squandering any graduation thoughts became increasingly difficult as my friends and family barraged me with questions about it. “Have you thought about your graduation speech yet bud?” was a question my dad often asked.  I always answered half-jokingly with “I’m waiting until the night before.” 

            Fast forward to one week before graduation.  I had officially been announced the salutatorian and would officially be giving a speech.  The total time I had spent working on my speech was approximately zero, unless you count watching YouTube videos of other high school graduation speeches for inspiration.  I had procrastinated assignments all through high school and reasoned that it was only right to procrastinate my final and biggest assignment.

            Two nights before the big day, I decided to get to work. Feeling a little overwhelmed and unsure about how to even begin, I sought help from a friend that graduated as salutatorian two years ahead of me.  He gave me two pieces of advice. First, he said that when I got to the podium and looked out, I would have the realization that people really do not care much about the speeches involved in graduation. Second, he advised not to worry too much about the content of the speech because I would likely just write a typical speech full of graduation clichés.

My friends cynical tips somehow gave me the motivation I needed to spend the next two nights writing a great speech.  I took his first tip (that no one would really care about my speech) and found ways to make my speech funny and interesting.  His second tip (that I would just write clichés) inspired me to write a speech that came directly from my heart.  I was truly proud of my speech.

The confidence that I had in the content of my speech somewhat carried over into a confidence in my ability to deliver it. I practiced my delivery in front of the mirror a couple of times and decided that I was as ready as I ever could be.

Graduation was on a Saturday morning in a college coliseum. As we were waiting to march in, I talked to the valedictorian about our speeches. I was to give mine first and we had decided to include a joke in which I gave the set up in my speech and he delivered the punch line in his.  We both expressed our feelings of anxiety, but I could tell he was much more nervous. I jokingly shared with him the tips which my friend had given me, which calmed both of our nerves.

Pomp and Circumstance played over the loudspeakers and I knew that the time was near.  I walked into the enormous room full of thousands of parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. I was nervous, but not nearly as much as I had always imagined it. In a way, I was excited to give my grand speech, as crazy as that sounds.

The principle gave a short welcome and invited me to the stage.  I stood up, walked carefully up the steps of the stage, made my way to the podium, and looked up. 

For the next five minutes I delivered my speech to the world.  Things went pretty smoothly and the audience even laughed at my jokes, although perhaps in politeness.  Although the general spirit of my speech was light, I did share what I felt was an important message, the details of which are unimportant.  Whether or not my message clearly reached the hearts or even ears of the audience is unknown to me.

What I do know is that I learned something important about public speaking and about life in general: As long as you believe in your message then you will spend little time worrying about its reception amongst others. 

A man is relieved and happy when he has put his heart into his work and done his best.

                                                                                                -Ralph Waldo Emerson